I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
