hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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