It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
It's never too late to be topless.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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