I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
