My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
