Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
