He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Randomize
