I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
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