Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
