Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
