Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Randomize
