that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
3 2 1 whiskey
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
