Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
