Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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