And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
