Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
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