I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
