Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
