why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I need to stop coming to work sober
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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