nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
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