And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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