I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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