I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize