If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
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