There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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