All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
