dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
