I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
PANTIES FOUND
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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