Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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