HIV tests are more positive than that guy
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Randomize
