You really coming over, don't trick.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
