3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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