you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
