i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize