If that was your dad, he is hot
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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