they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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