I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
