ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
