we have officially lost it.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
