your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I looked at my own cervix.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
