the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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