it was like his penis was on wheels.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
