I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
