Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
