Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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