she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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