I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
