i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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