Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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