i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
