My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
