No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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