I hope mine doesn't look like that
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
be right there i have to get my cape
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
