u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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