she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
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